Building Confidence To Choose Wisely
Darren Roberts
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Confidence is not something that can really be taught. It can be learned, but for me to say that I wish to show you how to become confident in 5 easy steps isn't appropriate. Confidence is a trait we all have to varying levels. Those that are very self-assured generally believe in who they are, what they are doing and pursue their convictions with vigor based on this belief. Confidence isn't hard to learn. It comes to you with knowledge, experience and desire.
Through our lifetime, we will tackle new challenges; some will be known quantities while others will be unknown. It is how we tackle our problems and what we learn from them that is important. You can't always confront things that you have no experience in, but if you regularly doubt your confidence, you may become insular and seldom stray from the familiar.
It is through our knowledge of the familiar, where we can draw on our strengths to move on to new and more challenging tasks. It is our knowledge of our abilities, which gives us the strength we need, to ask more from ourselves to move up to the next level. Your confidence is paramount in your success!
Tell me, have you ever heard of any success stories where the Gold Medallist, CEO, President or Prime Minister lacked confidence? Had they done so, then it's unlikely they would have got themselves into their respective position. Your belief in your abilities is your confidence. It is everything. It is a lack of confidence that precludes us from doing many things simply because our faith in ourselves is lacking.
Okay, let's assume your self-confidence is down. Negative results and negative feedback are two major contributors to shaking our own personal belief. There are reasons for negative results, which should be examined in detail. Generally speaking, it is because someone, maybe yourself, had higher expectations than you could deliver. Of course, there are a myriad of possibilities but let's work on this one. When this happens you have two possibilities:
Ø Crawl into your shell full of guilt and shame
Ø Learn from it and bounce back with a vengeance
The first option isn't really an option, as it will zap your confidence. In fact, it will strip you of self-belief
and make it difficult for you to tackle it again. Option 2 is all about learning from your mistakes and jumping right back on the horse. It is your persistence, willingness to learn and your belief in yourself and your abilities, which keeps you marching forward. This will give your self-confidence a major boost.
Remember, failing once at something is simply a learning exercise, which tells you that the way you have just tried isn't working It's not asking you to give up, it's simply closing one door. All you need to do is find another door and open it. It is this attitude that will build your self-confidence, as you will be learning along the way and amending your application and plan.
It is this reviewing as you go followed by adjust, amend and focus that allows you to choose wisely. Nevertheless, you must choose. You can't expect other people to make your choices for you. Sure, others will assist you but the final choice will always be up to you. You will occasionally choose poorly along the way. In fact, you will almost with certainty choose poorly quite regularly at the beginning.
This is normal and to be expected. How else do you get the experience that we all so desperately long to have? It is our decisions, which give us experience to make further and more highly informed decisions along the way.
Can you see how your confidence can build here? As your confidence grows in your abilities, you will become more able. They are directly linked.
You will need to take risks along the way. Dependant upon your personality will be the level of risk you take. If you have a Managed Investment Portfolio then look at the level of risk you have invested, this will give you a good indication of how much risk you will take. It will show you how far out on a limb you may go out of your comfort zone, in order to get what it is you really want. If you don't have such a policy, then draw a parallel. You could write down what your definition of "risk" really is and use it as a guide.
Your self-confidence grows as you grow. This gives you a broader understanding of your options, which allows you to make knowledgeable decisions, utilizing your power of choice. Choice needs to be learned. At the beginning, there is only one option. If we decide on that route then we haven't taken full advantage of our birthright. Every other species on this earth has not got the level of choice that is available to us. Don't let anyone push your buttons. Choose to push them yourself as you pursue your goals choosing to become successful.
Written By: Darren Roberts
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